Ok. Who am I F**KING kidding? 

My last post titled “So…” was the, fresh from the Dr, try to stay calm, and for Fs sake just try to be optimistic, post. I, however, am failing miserably. Just the antibiotic she prescribed alone is scary! We’re talking some tough stuff here. Not a z-pack or levaquin (sp?) but this horse pill sulfa drug that’s beyond stout, almost a sure bet to rip up my tummy, and I must take two pills two times a day! 

Then hits mega fear. While praying it’s only an infection, I’m to prepare for the worst case scenario. What if it’s cancer? 

The nicest way to phrase this is I’m not in a suitable environment to begin any sort of treatment. I’m desperately in need of a boost out that isn’t on the radar and to top it all off, if I managed to get a place, I won’t be able to take anything with me without a great deal of help. 

Lately, the lady that never could get much sleep, can’t stay awake to save her life! I will pass out, mid-task any and every moment of the day. I have woken up hunched over, sitting in bed to find I had been watching a movie that’s now almost over or texting a friend. (Of course now everyone thinks I’m just forgetting about them) 

At this point I’m afraid to drive. Not that I can do so well in the first place since I have almost no use of my right arm. 

I would love any positive vibes you can spare.

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