Three Common Beliefs That Make Abuse Innate to Our World

I have to re blog this post. I’ve watched too many people continue to take the abuse of their families and friends because they either feel like they have to learn to “take a joke” or if they just tried harder, they could fix them.

Is there such a thing as healthy teasing? I believe so. This occurs when you are able to lovingly pick on each other about something that each of you aren’t good at.

I and one of my friends both happen to be (more than) a little on the clumsy side. Have I bought him a t’shirt that says “I do my own stunts.” as a nod to this? Heck yeah! Did he laugh and does he wear it? Double heck yeah! Has he joked I could use training wheels on my heels? Oh yeah! Is he right and should someone get on that? Yes and PLEASE YES!

However in most cases it doesn’t get better. Not in these cases. Not when you’re not laughing.

People should always be laughing with you and not at you. Don’t let anyone make you feel small.

Political problems. Have we become blinded by personal issues?

When I sift through my social media feeds, I can’t help but notice how passionate everyone is about what they believe to be the correct way to either live life or direct this country etc. This makes me wonder; Are we so focused on what other citizens could be doing, that we aren’t playing attention to what really matters? What is the bigger picture? Do you really care who may or may not be having an abortion, when you aren’t pro birth control or Welfare? Does it matter which adults marry the other adults they love if both want to be married? 

Now some people are screaming that it does to all of the above but now ask yourself this; What are my biggest worries to the actual safety of everyone? Yeah, it’s probably not the aforementioned issues. So next question; Who do I feel is best equipped to handle any issues our nation may face come the next election? Now I won’t answer this question for you. I expect and encourage you to look, listen, and read all about everyone involved. You might even surprise yourself and change parties. Perhaps not vote a single party ticket. I honestly think to vote blindly is as bad as not voting at all. 

Now here’s where I’m going to get sexist. I’m thrilled to be a woman. I’m also thrilled to have been born into the right to vote. Keep in mind ladies that women haven’t, at the time of the posting, had this right for even 100 years yet! I expect us to read. I expect us as women, to care. It was a long, difficult fight for a basic right and I’ve heard too many people (but ladies I’m calling us out now.) say they don’t know, don’t care, or whatever happens, happens. Ok… REALLY? WTF? Especially with that last one! So if “Whatever happens” turns out to be very well trained turtles you’re happy to roll with that? I’m kidding of course, but only kinda… No you wouldn’t be okay with that and yes you will want someone you believe in, in office but until you actually put away the pettiness of micromanaging other people (very us vs them when the them is still us) and start thinking about the future of an entire nation (Now that’s Patriotic!… Well, you might as well stick to voting for contestants. At least you’re half paying attention to the TV.

Tiny Houses 

I came across this article/blog post about tiny houses and how one can possibly survive. I will link to it at the end of this post but the answer is rather simple. You don’t need stuff and if you know how to dress you actually need little in the way of clothing.

I researched the maximum size for a tiny home (TH) and it turns out that while some people go to extremes of the TH spectrum, any home under 1,000 sqft is considered to be a TH. With this in mind I looked at the measurements of many one bedroom apartments and even some two bedroom properties. I’ve yet to find a one bedroom apartment in my city that was larger than 1,000 sqft. My parents are also Landlords and each of their three houses all qualify for the TH movement. Strangely enough, they are older than you might think.

So to answer some of the questions posed in the piece I will start by saying that if you really think about what you need to get by with and not the stuff you simply want, you can cut what you own to very little. 

Then you have the question of “alone” time and the answer is rather easy. If I really must be in the house and alone I would hope my partner would understand and GTFO for a while. If not I can always make use of the outside or go to a diner myself. 

As for guests; well if the place is large enough, such as a single bedroom house or apartment, you can always get a foldout sofa or a day bed. If it’s smaller you can build in a sleeping area for guests or enjoy the beauty of being able to honestly say, “Sorry mate, I don’t have enough room.”

Yes these people have friends and no, they won’t be hosting tons of house parties. 

Lastly, and this is a storage tip more than anything, making use of magnetic paint in conjunction with chalkboard paint for the kitchen let’s you store things easily in any container you can glue a magnet to and keep a running list of things you need. 

Check out the link to the article as she makes some good observations and it’s almost funny.

The moment guys understand…

A guy who knows what I had been through thought it would be nice to make a rape joke to me and that as a victim I could brush it off. After all, as a woman, aren’t I suppose to smile and keep my mouth shut? 

Well I’ve never been one for the self inflicted pain of biting my tongue or a fan of pandering to anyone’s ego.

So, I turned his joke back on him, and jokingly myself, offered to stick his beer bottle where I doubt most people would want it. He was appalled and offended. He even began to threaten violence over something I said with the lightest of tones. It was then I asked him how he thought I felt. He honestly looked confused. He tried to argue that “it’s different” and even tried to “school” me on how I should feel. My only response was “Keep it up, I have lotion in my purse.” Again he couldn’t win. More anger, more fear, and even more of trying to justify his double standard. I pointed out that when the tables are turned it’s not so laughable.

I told him to think about how my jokes felt like physical threats. To think about how he would feel to have his own body invaded by someone or something that he didn’t want. 

Was I crass? Yes. Are all rape jokes wrong? Yes. Did I drive the point home? Yes. 

Fortunately or sadly he doesn’t have that same experience 10 times a day. Perhaps if he knew the world from the side of too many women out there he would make greater efforts to improve his own ideal of what’s right or how things should be. 

Until you’ve had a someone go from flirting with you one second and threatening to kill you the next, or a guy walk up to you in a bar with his penis out, having never met you and obviously displaying the only thing he thinks is interesting about himself, I am sad to say you don’t know what it’s like.

Much like a man child on Facebook that after several “Hello” messages that I didn’t have time to respond to, decided to put his anything but stellar vocabulary to the test and send me a message that read, “Sit on my face.” He wanted attention and now he has it. He apologized and said “Don’t be mad.” To which I replied that I am completely lucid and as far from “mad” as one could be. I then told him that I wasn’t even angry and worse I wasn’t disappointed either. 

He, and I fear this is where many guys go wrong, honestly thought he was being sexy. I made it clear that was the least sexy thing he could have typed, but judging by his typing that was probably the best he could do. After I read him the standard riot act that any woman over 25 has committed to memory. He tries to explain that he only wanted my attention and a response. I asked him if he would make the same request of his boss, should he need to get their attention? He said he wouldn’t. I asked if that’s the voicemail he leaves for his mother, sister, or daughter when they neglect his tragic pleas. Apparently it isn’t. So then I asked what made him think I would at all, feel honored to receive the perverse attention he had decided to bestow upon me? He didn’t know so I left him with this, “If you wouldn’t address any woman in your family in the manner you’re considering and if you know you would get fired from your job if you tried it with your boss, then perhaps you are better off not communicating at all.” 

Not that some of these jerks aren’t fun to play with. When I got a message saying “I want to put my dick in you’re but.” I knew that was going to be hours of fun turning that poorly written statement into the “Who’s On First?” of awful attempts at sexting. (Yes I can type “But what?” for hours.) 

I’m not saying guys aren’t allowed to flirt. I’m not suggesting we stop talking dirty to each other. I just think both sides should consent before digging through your mental smut files. 

Trust me it’s more fun that way. 

I’ve The Christian answer, for those willing to listen.​ 

I found this link on Twitter and I have beyond had it with fighting over things that to be honest, aren’t anyone’s business. 

I am not aligned with a religion but make no mistake, I have faith in God. Admittedly I’m working on how I feel about John 3:16, but that’s MY problem and no one else’s. 

So here we sit. Abortion has been legal since before I was born and I’m middle aged, marriage equality has at long last been declared just and wether or not you believe it was the moral decision to make, it was the MOST ethical one and I stand by it proudly. 

Let’s tackle your first concern right off the bat. I can tell you right now how to at least reduce the number of abortions in a few simple steps. First everybody absolutely must know exactly how babies are made and how to prevent this from happening. I’m sorry if your moral standards have you believing that teens and young adults would never have sex without being married. Sadly your incredibly wrong.

Studies have shown time and again that teaching abstinence only leads to at best a small delay in having sex. The higher the moral standard the kid is being held to shows they are less likely to plan ahead. This means no condoms or birth control. 

Second, though I am not able to have a child, had my now extinct marriage to a man that became abusive in our second week of marriage produce a child; What on Earth would I do? I’m disabled, I would never have been able to rely on hi for support, and once you discover the man you thought you knew for 3 years is a sexual sadist with the worst anger problem. Well would you want your child with him? 

If you would stop dickering about when life begins and concern yourself with it at all stages, far less women would feel like need to end their pregnancy if they knew they could diaper, dress, and feed an ever growing child. I ask you. Whatever happened to charity? Not tithing 10% to the nonprofit organization you hang out in so it can add on or what have you. I mean when was the last time you saw a single parent or poor family scraping to survive and you helped? How many times have you thought “They must have issues! They should have thought about how expensive kids are before bringing one into this world!” 

Third, let the loving gay couples adopt. I know I would be far more willing to put my child into the system knowing that it has even more chances of getting adopted than I would if I knew 10% of the population weren’t being rejected because they are in love!!! 

Oh and to quiet your fears about children being sexually assaulted by these couples, I remind you of this. MOST pedophiles are adult white males who are married to partners of the opposite sex and they identify as heterosexual. 

  1. Now as for equal opportunity marriage, the devastating effect that your waiting to hear about? I don’t see it happening. How does this do a thing to your marriage as man and wife? It doesn’t. Gods law and mans law are on the best of days, too sides of the same coin. No matter what the Bible says about marriage we aren’t talking about Gods law, we are talking about the right to see your loved one is the hospital. The right to the same tax breaks. The right to raise a child in a two parent family and for both parents to be able to sign off on medical care if need be. That’s all.

Worry about your own family more, practice charity more often, and just stop thinking that fighting solves anything. Have real faith. If God wanted all of this to stop, He has that power and it doesn’t seem He was ever shy about putting it to use.